A girl was sitting on a park bench.
Beggar: Hi sweetheart.
Girl: How dare you call me sweetheart?
Beggar: Then what the hell are you doing on my bed?
I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I'll get to you shortly!
Pappu: You know I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once.
Girlfriend: Oh my God! how did you survive?
Pappu: I fell off the bottom rung!
I am not an alcoholic. I just have a lots of reasons to celebrate!
Boy: Do you think my salary is sufficient if we get married?
Girl: Of course, it will be sufficient for me... but how will you survive?
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers!
Banta: What do women and fire engine have in common?
Santa: When they are around, everybody knows!
When someone is in a bad mood, look them in the eyes and tell them to smile. They will always smile and cheer up a bit.
What has two grey legs and two brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhoea!
If you really want to know about your mistakes, you should ask your wife!
Santa: You must have been born on a highway?
Santa: Because that's where most accidents happen!
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus!
Boy: My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling.
Teacher: You must be Kidding?
Boy: No, that is my brother. I am Joking!
Which is larger, the number of seconds in a week or the number of minutes in a year?
Teacher: If you think you are good and fast in maths then tell me what is 12 x 45 = ?
Teacher: That's wrong.
Pappu: But it is fast!