Banta: What do women and fire engine have in common?
Santa: When they are around, everybody knows!
Santa: You must have been born on a highway?
Santa: Because that's where most accidents happen!
Santa:You know Google is a woman?
Santa: Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions!
Santa: Sorry boss, I can't come to office today, my car has broken down.
Boss: What about the bus?
Santa: I don't have a bus!
Banta: What women think about a 'Secret'?
Santa: Something which is told to one person at a time!
Banta: What is the definition of a husband?
Santa: A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted!
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy:
One, let her think she is having her own way, and the other, let her have it!
Banta: What is worse than a biscuit drowning in the tea?
Santa: The second biscuit on a rescue mission drowns, too!
Banta: What is the difference between 'Temporary Love' and 'Permanent Love'?
Santa: In 'Temporary Love' a girl calls his boyfriend 'Jaanu', 'Sweetu', 'Babu', 'Shona' but in 'Permanent Love' she says, 'Saale', 'Kutte', 'Kamine'!
Banta: What is Alimony?
Santa: Alimony - A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it!
Banta: Why is divorce so expensive?
Santa: Because it's worth it.
Santa: I will admit I am wrong if you will admit I am right.
Jeeto: I agree! you go first.
Santa : Ok, I am wrong.
Jeeto: Yes, You are right!
Santa invited Banta to his home for dinner and gave him directions for Vasant Kunj.
Santa: Oye! Mahipalpur Se Aana Aur Teesri Red Light Se Left Le Lena. Phir Dusri Red Light Se Right Le Lena! Hours passed... but no sign of Banta, so Santa called up to ask where he was.
Santa: Oye Banta, Where are you?
Banta: Oye Yaar, Main To Jaipur Pahunch Geya... Because Sari Lights Green Thi, Koi Red Light Mili Hi Nahi!
Pappu: Papa Mujhe 180CC Pulsar Bike Hi Leni Hai...
Santa: Beta Tu 180CC Pulsar Le Ya 350CC Ki Bullet, Picha Tune 100CC Ki Scooty Ka Hi Karna Hai..
Santa: What do you want for your birthday?
Jeeto: Give me one ring... thats enough.
Santa: From landline or mobile?